10 things I don't care about as your therapist (what to expect in therapy)
Updated: Oct 16
At some point, you gotta stop watching therapists talk about healing and actually let one help you.
If you're wondering what to expect in your first therapy session, a lot of the nerves come from thinking you have to show up a certain way. Composed. Prepared. With a tidy story and the right words. You don't.
Here are ten things I don't care about as your therapist.
The list
If you curse during the session. I probably will too. Sometimes there is no better way to describe the way we are feeling.
If you show up in PJs. Never apologize for how you look. I'm just glad you showed up.
If you cry. That's part of the point of therapy.
If you're lying down. Stay cozy!
If you tell me you don't want to be at therapy and you have nothing to talk about. Those are usually the best sessions.
If you eat a meal. Yum.
If you need a bathroom break. Well, duh. You're human.
If your child unexpectedly comes into the room. I can't wait to see them and wave hi.
If you need a week off from therapy. Kudos for knowing what you need.
If you tell me I said something that bothered you. Amazing. This is always welcome. It shows the safety of the relationship, and we get to repair it together.
When you have the bond of a solid and safe therapeutic relationship, so much healing can take place.
Oftentimes people think they have to "show up" to therapy a certain way. In my practice, the more unfiltered you, the better.
What happens before your first session: the Java Chat
Before we ever book a session, we have a Java Chat. It's a free fifteen-minute call. Bring your coffee.
There's nothing to prepare and nothing to fill out ahead of time. We talk about what's going on, what you're hoping for, and whether this feels like the right fit for your next chapter. If it doesn't, that's a complete answer too.
What your first therapy session is like
Sessions are fifty minutes, online, from wherever you feel most comfortable. Your kitchen table, your parked truck, your bed with the door closed. Most people start weekly or every other week, and we adjust from there. It's open-ended. You set the pace.
We don't usually start with tools or techniques. We start with the thing that moves people first: being seen and heard. Your story is the most important thing to me; you stop being alone in it.
In order to heal, you need a place where you can be honest. A place where your whole story can breathe. A place where your body feels safe enough to let its guard down, and your experiences can be met with compassion instead of judgment.
Why online therapy
Your story doesn't need a waiting room. It just needs space.
A lot of the people I work with live in small towns and rural communities, where the nearest therapist is a long drive away. Online sessions take the drive and the parking lot out of it. They also fit around real life: a work day, school pickup, a kid who's home sick. If French is the language your feelings come out in, we can work in French. Je suis heureuse d'offrir des services en français.
So early on, you'll probably hear me ask: how does your body feel? I go to the body before the story, because the body usually knows first.
Honest Hour: what the relationship is like
I call the relationship itself the Honest Hour. Trust first. Real conversation. Humour, because life is funny even when it's hard. Yes, the odd swear word when nothing else fits.
Connection comes first. It always has.
Consider this my application to be your therapist
I'm passionate about supporting women who secretly struggle to ask for help, strive for perfection to keep a sense of control, move through anxiety and transitions (big or small), and feel completely drained from constantly being the "reliable one" nobody thinks to check in on. If that sounds like you but you don't fit every word of it, you're welcome here too.
If any of that resonates a bit too closely… hello.
Take this as your sign that you deserve support too. You deserve a space where you can pause, and reconnect with the confidence and joy you've been missing.
I'm a Registered Social Worker offering online therapy across Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta and British Columbia, in English and French. Read more about how I work or meet me here.
When you're ready, book a Java Chat: fifteen free minutes, bring your coffee.
Frequently asked questions
What should I say in my first therapy session?
Whatever is true today, even "I don't know where to start" or "I don't really want to be here." You don't need a prepared story. A good therapist will help you find the thread.
Is online therapy as effective as in-person therapy?
For many people, yes. Online sessions also mean no drive into town and no waiting room, which matters a lot in rural communities. You can do it from wherever you feel safest.
How often will I have sessions?
Most people start weekly or every other week, then space sessions out as things settle. It depends on what you need, and we decide together.
If this is you, book a Java Chat, bring your coffee.
